Ep: 11- When You Just Don't Want To!

Episode 11: hen You Just Don't Want To!

Welcome to the Simplified Success Podcast! Today's episode is talking about the time we are in right now with the pandemic and the reality of the times when you just don't feel like doing the thing. You just don't want to do it! I hear you... TRUST ME... so this episode is talking through the real-time scenario of not wanting to do the thing and how I walk through these times! 

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Transcript

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Welcome to the simplified Success podcast, where we take the complicated, overwhelming and unorganized parts of your business and life and break them down to simple steps so you could integrate them to reach your goals. This is a place where we believe anything is possible with the right mindset, tools and strategies. I'm your host, Lindsay Reynolds. Each week I'm gonna bring you practical tips and tricks to build your skills, mindset and strategy from industry leaders who, frankly, are just crushing it and making things happen if you're ready to make the shift from good to great, but keep it simple and you're in the right place. Hello? Hello. Welcome back for the podcast. Um, I and so excited to be here today because I want to talk to you about something bad. I feel like we all run into every once in a while. I feel like it's something that manifest. It's it's self in different ways, and I think we think that wants to get to a certain level. It stops, and so I want to talk about it. So today I want to talk about the concept of I don't feel like it, so I think that as we're building our lives as we're setting our goals as we're getting really intentional smart, it's about how we're spending our time and making sure that we're creating a life that is in alignment with where we want to be and where we want to go. Sometimes we come to a place where we just don't want to. Here's the thing about this place. And I want to tell you guys full integrity, full honesty This happens to Well, I'm not going to say everyone because I can't speak for everyone. But I sure as heck happens to a lot of people. Um, I think as you grow and as you push yourself intentionally, you build results that you didn't even believe were possible. So sometimes it makes it hard, and sometimes you're in the middle of it, and you just don't feel like it. So what? I'm recording this and I'm gonna put this live tomorrow. So today, this week, right now we are in the middle of quarantine. We're in the middle of this unshakable weird. Never could have assumed we would be in this scenario world where some of our movement freedoms. Not so most have been altered significantly. We we are adjusting to a new norm, and and I think there's There's two pieces that come with this realization that have been highly evident for me. And it's interesting how situations happen in your life to prepare you for a future situation. So I have to take you a little bit back before we can go forward. I feel like I'm in that, uh, like, the dilute, dilute, dilute, dilute from, uh oh, my gosh. Ways world. Right, So we're gonna did a little bit a little bit a little back, um, to about two years ago, I started kind of looking at things differently. I don't know if it was my age. I don't know if it was my exposure when it came to our personal development coaching the way I was looking at things, um, and something. A mentor of mine, Melanie and Layer. If you haven't ever followed her, you should. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at changed something she told me, and I feel like things have changed so much and my my time walking through working with her directly and in her programs And I still takes a some courses with her, but has really helped prepare me for the time right now. And something that started to become really evident for me over the last couple of years is the concept of chapters closing. So as we walked through life, there are situations where you look back on the quote unquote good old days, right? You remember when it was blank and it's like this reminiscent amazing time. And it seems like chapters close and you've heard the same. Like if I only knew that was the last time. If I only knew that was gonna be the last time that it was gonna be like that, I would have, Right? So I think that as a world were walking through this this very riel scenario of the fact that a chapter has closed and I think as we're walking through this, it brings up a lot for a lot of people, and it manifests for everybody differently. So depending on how you are walking through this pandemic, how you're walking through the changes that are happening, it's gonna look different for you, for me is an achiever. I try to take control of situations and I know that you should up face and you should not take control of everything that you cannot control the things. But I get a sense of peace when I when I have a plan, when I take control right, it's just how I'm wired. It's something that I have to push myself on. But I think that there's something that we all have to acknowledge and it's OK, so a chapter has closed. We don't get to pick one chapters close. We don't get to choose and and sometimes that feels really not good when you're somebody who likes to control the way that things change. But the life in the world that we knew before pandemic before this, this version of the world we live in now we will never get to go back to that. On the first day that you went into quarantine, that chapter closed and I think that there is because I am a very positive human. I'm always looking for the good in it. In the minute that we went into quarantine, I was looking at all the things that were positive, all the things that were good and focusing on that. But I think that when we're walking through this, if we're not intentional, to give ourselves a moment to notice the chapter closing and honor that it weighs on you. And when you let things weigh on you and I'm not saying just this scenario, but in general, when you are carrying things that do not serve you when you are letting things in general affect how you walk through your life whether that you're carrying old pain, old anger, um, all the things right that you're carrying from all the situations in your life that you haven't dealt with, they have a tendency to add up. And then you run into this situation where you just don't feel like it. So the analogy that I talk about with my clients is that you have a coping cup. Everything happens for you to be able to grow your coping cup, because if everything is either a lesson or memory, something else I learned from for Melanie, then it's happening store you so that you can grow your coping cup. But if you're coping, cup is full off. Things that you are carrying around that do not serve you. You don't have room in it to cope with things full circle here, where I'm going with all of us. I feel like I'm just kind of rambling, but I promise there's a point. What I want you guys to think about and acknowledge for yourself is give yourself a minute to just acknowledge that the chapter has closed and that when we get to go back to life more like we are used to, it will never be the same. Whether you've been directly impacted by this virus and new yourself has been sick or you have lost somebody close to you. Even if it hasn't affected you at that level, the world will not function the same as it did before we walked through something like this. I really won the first. When all this first started coming up, I was talking to my mom on the phone on we were discussing was going on, and the whole idea of the United States being in a scenario where we closed everything down seems so unfathomable. The fact that that has now happened forever changes the trajectory of what is possible in the future. I'm not taking a position on whether that's bad or good. I'm just I'm just addressing the fact that the chapter has closed in that version of the world we walked in. Why does this matter? When you are a human who is functioning pushing to get the things done, I make the most use of your time and all the things that can look different for everybody. Whatever your coping mechanism looks like, if you don't stop for a minute and address what that means that I'm not saying it needs to be a big deal. But notice that I that that chapter is closed. I'm so grateful for the memories. I'm so grateful for the lessons and the things that I've learned. And I'm now going to start this new chapter. I'm gonna mentally start the new thing. How do I want to be in this? Who do I want to be in this If you don't let yourself really create that segmentation to the next thing, I think it holds you back. And I think for myself as I'm talking through this to tell you guys about why you're like when you feel like you just don't want it. I know the feeling cause right now in this moment there's a lot of things that I just don't want my coping cup at the moment it's full and I know because I this is the same stuff I teach. I teach what I preach, what I teacher, I used what I preacher. However you say that I do the things that I coach my clients to do. I do the things that I tell you guys in this podcast or in the simplified success community. I ever things that I do. I don't just tell you guys things that I don't try and if I haven't tried it, I tell you what I heard about this, but I don't know. I am telling you the things I do and I'm noticing in myself a thing that in the behavior that I don't like, I don't like when I get myself in a situation where I just don't feel like it. I want to live a life where I am excited about the things that I'm doing, and I'm listening to myself well enough to rest and do the right things toe where I am excited about the things So when I give myself in a situation where I just don't want to and I'm doing the procrastination cycle, I make myself stop and use my tools. So when I was thinking this afternoon about what I was going to report on the podcast, I felt myself to do that. I just don't want him. And not because I don't want to do my podcast because I love my podcast. That is the first hint that something's off, that I need to use my tool and you to address it because I absolutely love doing this podcast to my most favorite things that I get to Dio So like, up red flag, What is going on? And when I start walking through this and looking at okay, use my tools. Where is this coming from? Do I not want to do it because of a fear? A, um a limiting belief. What's causing me to, you know, I don't have the information I need. I don't feel like I have the right answer like what is causing me to not move? And what I realized is that my coping cup with school I have so much in my cup and I'm trying so hard. Like, I think a lot of you are to be all the things. There are people right now. Who it and there's so many different scenarios. You guys, you could be working full time from home and raising your kids. And now you're a teacher, and now you're trying to do the other things and plus your fitness and you're trying to make sure your right food I'm going to the grocery store. But that doesn't feel safe, or you can't work right now at all, and you're not even sure how you're gonna pay your bulls and your business is not the way it was. And now you're not sure how to walk forward like there's so many different things that we're all trying to carry right now. And I want you to take a minute and just set in the fact that you have a lot to carry and not make that mean anything. That's when the number one things that we do that destroys ourselves when we get stuck in the I don't wanna is we start making that I don't wanna mean a lot of things. So when I didn't want a quote unquote and using air quotes. Even though you guys can't see Muir quote, we're quoting I don't want to record my podcast today. I could have gone down this spiral of Well, that must mean I don't want to do the podcast anymore. That must mean I don't want my business. And I don't like the people. And I don't like my gun that I need to redo my whole business and my whole structures. Whoa! Right. But we do this, You all. We do this, we go into the cycle and we spiralled into Well, obviously, I'm not gonna basement Venice's menace One really, in reality, special in this scenario for myself, me not wanting to record my podcast was nothing to dio with whether or not I want to do my business, whether or not I have the right clients, whether or not and selling the right thing, whether or not I want to do a podcast, it doesn't have to do with any of those things. I'm making it mean all those things when in reality my coping cup is full period. I'm trying to cope with all the things for myself. I'm working full time from home. I'm running my business and I have all these amazing things that I'm creating right now, and I'm just I so love him out in the world. I still want them to be ready and I'm putting this pressure on myself. I'm I'm really solidifying my habits around, moving my body and my fitness and being really consistent with my scheduling. And I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself. On top of the fact of, you know, it's It's I can't even do certain things that normally I could just do like I want to go to the store yesterday and I had to really think about what? What am I touching with my hand? Like it's all these things that don't don't normally take my actual frontal. Use the frontal lobe, but like by my active brain, they don't normally take my active brain. I can't tell you how exhausted I was when I got home. We had to run an errand. Yesterday I were to run and find some papers, grabs and stuff from the grocery store that I did ought like online pick up on Grab Something from Home Depot also did all mine pickup, right? It's like we didn't even go in. I had to run inside of the grocery store. I got two things that I forgot to order. And so that span of time was less than an hour, and I was so exhausted because it took so much of my mental energy because I couldn't just do things that I normally do without thinking. Like, I don't know if anyone else has noticed this like, you need to be careful what you touch and make sure you wash your hands. And if it's your face and you know all these different things to protect ourselves and they're so not natural. And so notice the fact that in this time, and this is not just this time, but we'll use this time is the example. It takes a different kind of energy from you to function at the same level that you were before, because you cannot do as much in your autopilot, right? So when I sat down to do this and I was like, Oh, I just don't feel like it, My brain is tired. Everything about our schedules are normal. Day to day has been put down the time. And that doesn't have to mean anything either. But give our give yourself and maybe you don't know who needs to hear this. You need to hear this. You know who you are. Give yourself some grace. You cannot be late for your own destiny. Everything is going to be OK. You're an incredible human, and this is completely figure out a ball. That was like I just quoted, like, a different people. But it is completely true. It's okay to not feel like it and have the not feel like it means anything other than you just need a minute. I just needed a minute. I needed to know that not wanting to do it didn't mean my entire business needed to crumble. I had to rebuild everything in changeable. I need to revamp. I mean, how many times have you not felt like doing something in your business or not? Felt like doing something at work? And you decided that meant that the whole thing you didn t read on or you needed to start all the way over You have the round layout or the wrong program plan of the wrong situation. How many times have we got in this cycle where we decide that this small thing means everything. I want to give you a pass. You all the small thing doesn't mean everything. Okay? Let yourself. I don't want to say more, because that seems too strong. But let yourself feel the fact that the chapter is closed and I will tell you as you notice these things, it becomes a very bitter, sweet thing whenever the chapters close. I've been far more hyper aware of chapters closing in my life over the last couple of years that by giving yourself that moment, it solidifies the memories in such a cool way. So when I would challenge you to do If you feel this swing like you just don't feel like it, you feel like you're coping. Cup is so full and you don't even know how to. Even you just can't. You just can't. There's just no words. And if you're there, you know exactly what I'm talking about. I want to challenge you to stop for a second and look at the last chapter. I want you to look and see the amazing memories you created. I want you to see the amazing celebrations of things that happened. I want you to notice the things that that you aren't is proud of. That didn't work as well as you thought. And I want you to really just sit with that. I want you to notice how many amazing things worked in that tractor for you and this Kimmel different. Depending on what chapter you want to do. I would challenge you to do the last six months or so and really look at, like, what are some amazing celebrations of things that worked over the last six funds and that and that chapter in your life? And what are some things that didn't go the way that you wanted them to Didn't go a smooth and? And what? Who do you want A being moving forward? Because chapters are not ends of books there parts of your story. And just because one of the chapters is over and doesn't exactly end the way that you thought it would doesn't mean that the next chapter can be the most amazing part of the whole story. So noticed that this is just a chapter closing. It's not the end of the book, okay? So if you feel like you're coping, cup is so full that you just can't do it. And I will tell you guys my coping mechanism. When this happens, I'm a free India Graham and it's so funny. I was scrolling through Instagram this weekend and I was feeling very much this way. I was very overwhelmed, Um, not by anything I needed to do, but I just knew I needed to do nothing. I just needed to just chill. So I spent most of the day Sunday baking for me. Definite. Let's like I have been getting into making pasta from scratch. So I was making pasta dough and I baked some cookies and brownies and cake and all this stuff right, because that was like an outlet for me. Now that I'm sitting here really dealing with it, right? I didn't deal with it. I just coped. I just felt more tough. I just made a little Mike Open Cup. Not by letting go of anything, but just by distracting myself. There's nothing wrong with that. You guys and I fully believe that sometimes having that outlet for distraction is amazing, but what you really need to do is release the things in your cup that are holding you back. So you have room in your cup for other things. Okay, so what I really needed to do and what I m going to challenge myself to when I finish this recording and why I challenge you guys to Dio is a chapter is closed when things come back open, like in my area. They've talked about opening some stuff as early as at the end of the week. When things start coming back open and we start going back into this, this other world, it's gonna look different. There's there's things will never look exactly the same as they did before. So I challenge you to look at that time frame, whatever it is for you. And I would challenge you to look at six months. But you play with whatever feels best and notice all of the amazing, incredible things that happened in that period in six months and the things that you are so like, so proud of, and the things that didn't work as well and honestly kind of go through some of things that you're gonna miss. There's, there's there's things that are going to be different and maybe think about prepare yourself for that. It's gonna look a little different and and the things that you don't want to change and you want to be intentional about to make sure and what I would challenge you to look at once you're done looking at the at the past portion is what has one of what has happened during this time during this quarantine time. This in between of the new chapter starting the very beginning of this new tractor that starts with the chord in team. What? What do you want the rest of the story to look like? One of the things you want to take from this time that you're so so proud of. And And how do you want to continue toe walk forward? Because when you can look at this when you finish this exercise looking at what worked. It was amazing and incredible On what things that didn't go as well. And what things you're gonna be sad that are gone. But you're so grateful for. And then you start looking at where you want to go. There's room in your cup again because you're not carry you're not carrying around all of those things. All the memories and all the things you wanted to change, and and all the things you're gonna miss your not carrying that the same as you were when you hadn't really looked at it. So I know for me the most recent time I've gone through this exercise. The company I work for has had a team that I was working with and and we went through some crazy projects together, worked on a bunch of stuff. We had put a great report they were so fun to work with. And we had a very big change in personnel and they made that teen changed a lot. And when they left, I remember being really hard for me and not hard because I didn't like the new team. The new team is incredible, and I love what we're doing now as a team. I think it's so amazing, but But I miss things that only existed in that chapter. That doesn't say anything bad about the chapter that I'm in doesn't mean the chapter now is bad at all, and I don't want to see that, but I think that but I never would have dealt with the fact that I was what I loved about the time we were together. The things I thought we could have done better that should have changed and and what I missed by led by addressing it and leaving it there. It left me room toe walk into this new chapter with the new team and have a completely different approach because I knew all the great memories I had. I get to keep all that I get to cheat all the things that I didn't want to change in the New World, and I got to leave the things that I that that just worked as good, right? So I want you to look at this time as an opportunity for you and this for me, too. And when you notice that you just don't feel like it because you're gonna I promise promise that you're not going to make that mean everything needs to crash and burn, and it may. That may be what your solution is. But please don't go there first. Please give yourself enough grace to know. But it's OK. It doesn't feel good, and then look and see did a chapter disclose. Did something change significantly in your life that's taking up your coping, huh? Is your coping cups so full that there is no more room to put anything else in it? And if it's so overfilled that you've gotten to the point where you just don't want to do the things that are part of your life that you love so much like spending time with your family or your kids or making if you like to cook, making food or if you run a business and you have a podcast and you love recording your podcasts and you notice the things that you love, become things that you just don't want it know that it has to do with your coping cup or you've lost sight of how that's part of your life, and that's a whole other holder podcast. But I want you guys to really give yourself some grace and empty the cup, sit down and empty it. And if the cup is full of things like what I was talking about, where Attack disclosed, I walked you through how to deal with that. But if the Cup is full of anger, resentment or things that you're carrying around that don't serve you that don't get you where you want to go. It's time to release that. It's time to sit down and journal that out. Or you could write a forgiveness later. I'm a big fan of those and forgive that person and then burned that paper is something very cathartic about burning paper. I don't know why it just worked really well. But you've got to empty out the Coping Cup. The great thing about all of these things happening for us not to us, for us is that we get the opportunity to grow, are coping cup. And every time we learn from something, our cup in our capacity gets bigger. So know that even though your cup is full right now, by emptying it and letting go of the things that don't serve you, you're actually growing your capacity for what you can handle in the future. So the best analogy I have for this is if you're a mom, if you're not a mom, this may not make sense, but you can sure as heck imagine that's how ideo but at the non mom, the idea of having a child or let alone two is an absolute scary thought process because it's so much unknown. And those of you that are parents right now are laughing at me enough. Totally fine. You totally get what I'm saying. There was a time in your life when the idea of having one or two or however many kiddos was a very overwhelming thought. Changing a diaper. What formula do you buy? What what's what's heart monitor do you need or see on my feet a heart monitor? This is what I mean. You know, I don't know how to do the kid thing yet, but you grow in your capacity and then you learn, and then you're able to cope with one and then two and multiple Children. This is just an example 1/2 right. So you have to leave room in your coping cup to be able to manage the things. So if you're an aspiring now, where you feel like you just don't want out like you just can't you some of these tools sit down address and noticed the chapter closing and honor it, and all the ways that you can be sad about it and all the ways that you need to and then decide where you're going and get back on track. And if you're coping, cup is full of the resentment or anger and situations or people or things that you know that just don't serve you. They don't get you where you want to go. It's time to release them. And not just for that person in that relationship, but for you. Because if you're coping, cup is full of stuff you're carrying around because of other people. You're not helping you and you're not helping them. And not to be selfish. It's about you. So I hope that some of this will help you to move when you are stacked and feel like you just don't want it. And sometimes you literally just have to use Mel Robbins. Tool 54321 and move. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, please Google the five second rule. Watch the Ted talk. You're welcome. Um and honestly, old, Sometimes you just gotta move and you gotta you gotta get it going to do it. And that and I completely support that. But do this stuff first because this will make you feel good again and want you to move. Because, honestly, you are meant for incredible, huge, wonderful things. But there will only happen if you move. Okay, so you've gotta unwind of the stuff that's keeping you in the spot of I just don't wanna so that you can move and do the things you were meant to do. I'm sending you all the left because I know you're an incredible human. And I am telling you, I believe in you. Do the thing. Go make it happen. Move after you assume. Thank you so much for listening to podcast today. As always, we would love for you to subscribe so that you don't miss any of the notifications of any of the new episodes that we ever drop. And always, if you're Levin, it's screenshot and share in all the places. Make sure you tag either simplified success, the podcast or me your host Lindsay Reynolds, so that I can give you a shout out. Thank you so much for listening and can't wait to see you next time