EP 4: Simplifying Emotional Eating & Positive Body Image Featuring Desri Jones

Episode 4: Simplifying Emotional Eating & Positive Body Image?<p>

Today we are talking with the AMAZING Desri Jones is POWERHOUSE coach who helps women get fit, love their bodies, and build the business of their dreams.  She is passionate about debunking the diet myths and helping women build a body that they love. She’s a self proclaimed queen of strategy and branding, and show moms how to build a business that doesn’t take away from their family!!<p>

You can find Des ALL over the interwebs! She has her Facebook group called Breakthrough to Brave Badass Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitfoodiesoulsociety/?ref=share 

Facebook page: www.Facebook.com/desrijones 

Instagram www.Instagram.com/desrijones

Website: https://fitfoodienation.com/

We are so excited you are here! We would LOVE to connect with you in other places too! You can ALWAYS message me!! PLUS….

You can join our Facebook community <a href=”http://bit.ly/SimplifiedSuccessCommunity”>Simplified Success Community!</a><p>

Follow the podcast on <a href=”https://www.instagram.com/thesimplifiedsuccesspodcast/”>Instagram!</a> and our host Lindsay Reynolds on <a href=”https://www.instagram.com/simplifiedsuccess/”>Instagram!</a>

You can always join the INSIDER email list also <a href=”http://bit.ly/SSCEmailList”>here!</a> 

Transcript

spk_0:   0:00
Welcome to the simplified Success podcast, where we take the complicated, overwhelming and unorganized parts of your business and life and break them down to simple steps so you could integrate them to reach your goals. This is a place where we believe anything is possible with the right mindset, tools and strategies. I'm your host, Lindsay Reynolds. Each week I'm gonna bring you practical tips and tricks to build your skills, mindset and strategy from industry leaders who, frankly, are just crushing it and making things happen if you're ready to make the shift from good to great, but keep it simple and you're in the right place. Hello, Welcome back to the episode Today. We are talking with Deseret Jones, who is a mindset and body image coach as well as a business coach. But today's episode is really focused on the mindset and and strategy around reframing how you look at food, reframing how you look at yourself so that you can really break down emotional eating and really focus on the things that you could be doing to help make sure that you are healthy in every part of that word. So both physically and mentally all around your body image. And this entire interview is so incredible. I can't wait for you guys to check it out. So if you are ready to learn some tactical things that you could be doing to help you with your mindset and the way you look at your body in the way that you walk through when it comes to eating and food and all the things debunking all the pieces, this is the episode for you. So stay tuned. Okay. Welcome to the podcast. Super excited for today to have Desert Jones, who I am really proud to say. Some major, a close friends. But she is a complete bad ass in all of the waste. And I am so excited to have her cure today for you guys. I will Let does introduce herself, because she is, by all means a multi passionate entrepreneur. She has done so many different things even since I've known her. But well before that, um, and has so many different facets of her business that I'm gonna let her introduce yourself and talk about who are you? Why are you here? Hey,

spk_1:   2:11
s. Oh, I'm so excited to be here. This is so exciting. This is the first time ever done a podcast for so ever since I just like the thing. Yeah, so I'm actually a I consider myself to be a fitness slash weight loss slash body image coach and I help women lose weight from a positive for a positive mindset instead of, you know, so many people have it backwards. And we, you know, we trying to lose weight based on something negative. We're trying to change ourselves into something we think is gonna make us happy. This is accepting yourself for who you are first. So that then you can bring about lasting permanent change. So, um, actually started, I guess my career as a coach as a weight loss coach and I had done that for about three years and just started feeling like I needed Teoh doom or to give people more. Um, I was just noticing that, you know, the people were losing weight, but their stay still were happy. Or they would commit to doing this weight loss program, and then they would stop 30 days later and I could figure out what the missing piece waas. And so I've just kind of set off, you know, this whole domino effect and it's been really, really cool. And so yeah, that's where I'm at right

spk_0:   3:37
now. So what brought you into the weight loss industry? Why was that something that was interesting or intriguing to you?

spk_1:   3:44
So I actually started. I've actually always been interested in health and wellness and fitness. Um, and I never really struggled with my weight per se until I had my both of my Children. And then I just could not get the weight to budge. And so I started it for my own personal reasons and just really fell into loving, you know, helping other people do the same thing. Um, but, you know, I've always struggled a lot with body image, and I've always struggled with self esteem. And so, you know, I had noticed on my own during my own journey that I kind of got in this crazy mindset of, you know, I have to look a certain way. I have to do certain things I have toe, you know, always be hustling. And it just didn't It was It just wasn't working anymore. I was driven my health into the ground and I was tired and my body was literally fighting against me at that point. And so that's when this whole I guess I call it. My awakening happened and I realized that you know, there's a better way and so that's that's kind of how I got into it. I've always loved fitness. I've always loved helping people. Eso I just kind of fell into it honestly.

spk_0:   5:05
So how do you say it is a better way? How do you help your clients? I know, like I think we've all done this like we've all done like the cut your calories or work out. I remember, like even in college, like I was doing CrossFit like five and six days a week. And, you know, I still wasn't getting results or, you know, alternatively like I did different of the penal fad diets per se, Um, where you cut certain things out. Are you adjusting? So like you said, there's another way? Or that you've been helping your clients differently? What does that really look like? Like, what does it look like as starting with you? How do you work people through this kind

spk_1:   5:37
of stuff? So we start just from the very basics in the very beginning, and I just have them tell their story. Why are you here? Why do you struggle with food? Why do you struggle with your body image? And when people allow themselves to really sit down and think about that and talk about it, it opens up this whole door to be able Teoh bring about a healing process because you know when you shove it down and you don't talk about it, it just it just sits there. And so when it manifested, just starts to getting bigger and bigger and bigger, and so bring it into the light. That's what I call it is bringing it into the light takes the power away. So that's the whole goal. Is bringing these issues up into the light so that they lose their power? And I really focus a lot with them on loving themselves for who they are, and that is so much easier said than done. It is not something that you just decide to do. It's a process, and so we focus a lot on, you know, will a different body give you a different life? That's kind of The big thing that I tell them is, you know, is a different body going to give you a different life and usually the answer You think the answer is Yes. But when you sit down and really think about it, it's no, you know that you're not gonna change your life by changing your physical appearance. So we work a lot on that. We work on emotional eating. Um, we work on letting go of good and bad. I we dropped the labels. Food just becomes fuel for your body. It is not good. It's not bad. Um, dropping those labels is a huge, you know, process that we walk through as well. And so we we we work a lot on emotional eating, but the emotional side of it, it's not about the food. Um, it's never been about the food. And so we really dig deep on uncovering. You know, some of those things why people become, you know, emotional eaters or whatever. So

spk_0:   7:50
so emotional eating has become like one of those, like kind of. I don't want to say buzzwords, but I feel like any more like there's always someone buzzing around about emotional eating and all, and this is how you fix it. And this is how or do you do this? There's like all these different like like contradictory concepts around this concept. So you give us some background on kind of how, when you say emotional eating, what does that mean to you for your clients and kind of give us some like some clarity to this

spk_1:   8:20
puzzler? Yes, it is a huge. It's a hot topic because everyone has a different opinion on what it is and what it means to heal it. Um, the way I approach it personally is that I make it not so much about the food because in reality it's not. It's not about the food. It's that's not why you eat. It goes much, much deeper. We get into, you know, childhood wounds even and what you were told as a child and what patterns that you know, we're modeled for you as a child because a lot of us to do the things that our parents did, etcetera, etcetera, Um, and so, yeah, we really dig deep into more of this. I call it more of the spiritual side. Um, it's because it's not a lot of people try to fix it backwards, and they try. Teoh put these restrictions on themselves around food and like Well, if you would just follow this diet or you would just stop doing these things and stop, stop these actions, then you won't you will be won't continue the cycle. However, that's backwards. You actually have to fix what's broken inside of your heart first, before you have to learn how to accept yourself before you can start talking about the food itself. Because the food is just the food has nothing to do with it, and that is something that is, that's the biggest thing does. The biggest leap that my clients make is learning that it has nothing to do with the food. And once you realize that, I mean it literally. I mean, this sounds cliche, but it's since sets them free completely.

spk_0:   10:13
Yeah, I think as I was kind of going through this for myself like it was, it was almost like the food tied to a memory that was positive. So it wasn't necessarily that I wanted to have pizza. It was that pizza made me feel better, right and soap and when I didn't feel good. Like for me, I was never really. It was never eating for me. It was spending money for me. So, like, for me, if I didn't feel good, like I would go straight to Target and walk through Target on and I would I would buy things and I'm buying things gave me that feeling. And so it was something I had to work through myself, more in my money mindset of like, Why is that my my thing? Food was never my thing for me, but I definitely had times where I struggled with my body image. I don't think I ever used food is like a way to feel better or worse. I mean, sometimes, like I wanted to eat pizza like I would like I love like French bread, it looking all of oil like I would eat the whole lows like it's my favorite. Look, I love it. Um, not like for me. I had a harder time. Um, with my body image in the way that I looked in the way that I felt about how I looked not as much about, you know, mindlessly eating food and not understanding how it did it. Um so for me, it was a lot harder. And I went through different fads, situations and trying things where I cut food groups out or lowered my intake of certain food groups. And, um, it only seemed like when I did that, if I ever went back to eating any of those food groups again, my entire body, everything would just blow up. And so, like, I had even, like in my head, gone as far as to be like, Oh, I'm allergic or my body doesn't process this Well, you know, So I it took me a good I mean, I've been working with the nutritionist for the past at this point, like six or seven months to get that. Give my body, like processing things properly again because I had like, So how do you help your clients when they've been doing fad diets or they've been in a cut for a really long time? How do you help them to work through? Like, for me, it was really tough going from a cut toe, like, well, over 2000 calories a day. That's craziness when I'm not used to that, and I haven't. I haven't gained weight on my mind. Zeke is like, way better than ever. But like, how do you help your clients to the mindset of that cause when that might. But when I started going up in my numbers, I was like, You want me to eat? How much food like a completely fresh confidence is like, girl, you're eating. How many calories like you can't do that. So how do you work through that with your clients?

spk_1:   12:52
Very slowly, with a lot of compassion and a lot of just accepting them for where they're at and knowing that in remembering where I was when I started this process, because I was in the same situation and just being afraid. There's so much fear around the calories and carbs and protein and fat and how much you're supposed to beginning of all of it, to the point where I was, I had become obsessed with it, and most of my clients are obsessed with it as well. Believe it or not, even though a lot of them consider themselves to be been cheaters or compulsive eaters or whatever, Um, the reason that they're doing that is because they have been restricted for so long, and that is also another form of emotional eating. People don't even think of that. But the restrictive behavior is very much part of that. And so we just work really slowly. Um, I actually have them. One of the first exercise is that they do is they make a list of all of their food that they have put on restriction for themselves. So yes,

spk_0:   14:07
secret long list in a hurry,

spk_1:   14:09
Yes, For a lot of people it is. And so this is This is a process, and I have them work through, um, releasing the negative, um, feelings toward those foods and just realizing that they're just that it is. It's just food. It's not good. It's not bad. Food just fuels your body. And so they actually start working through their list for very holy Um, and there's a definite method behind how you know we do it, and they learn to actually eat those foods without binging on them. Um, and what's funny is that a lot of them realize pretty quickly into the process that some of those foods that they thought that they loved so much that were so off limits they actually don't like them that much. Really? Yes, that is a huge, huge breakthrough for a lot of people as they realize I didn't really love that chocolate cake that much like I thought I loved it, But it's because I told myself for so long that I couldn't have it. And so whenever I got my hands on it and knowing it's the last time, I'm gonna get to have it in a while, I would eat the whole cake. But when you actually sit down and take time to enjoy your food and to taste it and to smell it and to do all the things involve your senses that when you deuce binge it's very much a numbing type thing and you don't feel your emotions, you don't feel your senses. You don't, you know, pay attention to what's going on around you. Um, they realized that they don't really like it that much. It's really kind of funny and sad at the

spk_0:   15:45
same time, Not really depressing, like I've spent hours of my life wanting this, and now it's like

spk_1:   15:51
it really kind of stinks, but I mean you think about it have you ever Now you don't have babies yet, but like it was kind of the same situation is kind of the same thing. I tell people like when you're pregnant and you're having this craving for something. And but you're to the point where your belly is so big, like you can't but much of it in there. And so you think to yourself I am gonna have this huge meal of, like Chinese food and it's gonna be amazing. So you order all the things and then you can eat like, five bites and you're done. It's kind of the same process, but it really is because they're actually paying attention to how they feel and how the food actually tastes and the textures and all that. It's a it's a really cool process, and it they'll trust me and just work through it. The amazing This comes on the other side of that.

spk_0:   16:38
So you were talking about like senses. When you eat your senses, how do you work? Like I've never I've heard that some in the in the part of like trying to create memories, so making looks that way your because your brain connects memories by all your senses. But how does that play into you know, your help? Your healthy relationship of food.

spk_1:   16:59
So a lot of times, especially when as adults like you think back when you were a kid, you know, you we enjoyed things more. Um, we reason a lot of things as Children that we don't do is adults anymore. But, you know, as you become an adult and it's kind of like you get especially if you've been on a restricted diet for a long time, you forget what you like. You forget what you don't like. You just eat it because this is what you've been told you're supposed to eat and you stop enjoying your food for that reason, because it's like, OK, well, this is what I'm supposed to eat. So you know, it really doesn't taste that good, but I'm gonna eat it anyway, because this is what I think. This is what fits, or this is what my meal plans says I need to eat. And so you just kind of turn off those senses completely and boot in eating just becomes this thing that you dio you you stuck. The joy is gone. And so we we do. We start with our senses and not just around eating, but just in general, because a lot of us walk through life and were completely numb to everything around us. We don't notice the sunset anymore. We don't notice. You know, the birds chirping on our walk were so like, connected to our phones and to technology and all this that we don't take time to really just be with ourselves and to be in nature and to think about how we're feeling. And, you know, when we're sad, it's not just tears. It's like there's a feeling in your chest and there's a feeling in your stomach and so it's bringing them back to all of those senses, and that's part of what we do to is there's a exercise that we do on feeling your emotions,

spk_0:   18:42
and they're like, What does this have to

spk_1:   18:43
do with with eating? It has nothing to do with eating but has so much to do with eating because they have stopped feeling their emotions for so long and so especially negative what we consider negative emotions. So it's allowing them to feel those and toe work through that and to know that it's safe and that's OK and that, you know, your emotions don't define you as a person, and then it's okay to feel those things and not to be afraid of that feeling is a lot of times we get afraid of sadness or, you know, whatever anger especially, um, but to know this, that's a story that you've told yourself, and you have a choice every single day to change that. So I don't know if I kind of went off on a tangent. That answer.

spk_0:   19:34
No, it totally does. And I think this reason to so many different parts in our lives, I think that we get as we go through life like it's crazy because we tell our kids like as we're growing up, we're told toe, act like kids and enjoy it, and then we grow up. They were like I wish I was more like a kit and then you have kids and you let them be kids for a while. But then you have to make them parts of society, so we like, literally take the kid out of our kid and then they get older and wish this like the cycle of like craziness. And so, like you miss like we talked. I mean, like, this is something that I dropped off my clients all the time is like we forget, like to celebrate things like there's a time in our life when were celebrated for like going to the bathroom in a toilet, you know, like that's like a really exciting thing, like eating all your food, but you were have on your plate was like a very like celebratory secret and then get older and we have these measurements or what success looks like. We have sentiments for what it's supposed to be and how it's supposed to look, and that's where you know it. Like nothing is good enough. Nothing feels right. You don't like the way you made all these definitions and like one were kids. It's so it's so crazy because the what what for kids that shapes how we see the world right. But like when we're kids is when we have the most pure version of everything. Yes and my call center things, their top tests

spk_1:   20:59
right, and it is it's going back to that. It's going back. Teoh, How did you feel when you were allowed? Toe Have that cookie. How are you? How did you feel? And that's what people are chasing their chasing, that feeling because they stopped completely feeling in it in completely, they just stop feeling so they're chasing that feeling, and that's you hit it on the head. That's exactly you know what we have to go back to and celebrating. And you know, that's another thing I make my clients do make them a sense, like those

spk_0:   21:32
will celebrate,

spk_1:   21:34
celebrate. But I did, I dio and I tell them that. And I, um, I really have them focus on, you know, their self care because a lot of time to stop taking care of themselves. Um, I believe that your physical body is a reflection of who you believe you are. It's a reflection, and that's hurts. That hurts for a lot of people. But it's the truth when I believe that I'm worthy and I believe that I'm healthy and I believe that I have someone who deserves to be taken care of. Then I just naturally do those things. So that's a lot of what we work on to is you know who it's recorded you believe yourself to be, and let's work on changing that. And once you can change that, when you accept someone exactly for who they are and you allow them toe work through that process on their own, then that's the physical change follows the interchange, but we have it backwards, a success as a society. We think the physical change has to happen first, and then I'll be happy. But all you really are is just a skating miserable person at that point, and it's the truth. So we have to work on the interchange first, and then the physical change follows that.

spk_0:   22:48
So do you have clients that aren't trying to lose weight but still have the same emotional head stay stuff?

spk_1:   22:56
Yes, and so especially. I do have a run, a group for a room that is an emotional, eating, specific program, so that has nothing to do with, you know, fitness or nutrition. But most of those women do want to lose weight. And so what I tell them is that you have to work through these steps first and once you once you've accepted your body the way it is and you've taken the restraints ofus faras, you know, food restrictions and stuff like that. And once you start learning what your body wants and needs, you naturally start to make different choices. And your body is naturally going to start Teoh to change because you're not fighting it anymore for one, and you're not punishing it. And, you know, I don't think we give our bodies enough credits, you know, we run him into the ground. We treated like crap, but we don't give him enough credit they're responding to. They're responding to us all the time. So when you love and cherish and nourish your body, it's going to respond in a positive way. Versus you're always like hating it negative and bad and trying to change. It fights that so much so when you just let yourself be and you just learn the food that naturally makes you feel good, you do. You start to make better choices, choices on your own and then that changed just happens.

spk_0:   24:22
So have you handled tracking or intuitive eating or not tracking? What's your thought process at all of that when you have someone who is like trying to lose weight or someone who's trying to work through some of this old, emotionally deeper stuff, like, how do you handle that?

spk_1:   24:38
So it's really kind of, you know, specific to the person. But I tried Teoh, help them see that the numbers don't have any meaning. Um, you know that 35% protein, or whatever it is that they're trying to hit doesn't really have any meeting. It doesn't make them a better person when they hit that. So because I do believe that tracking is important, it just cannot become an obsession. So what we do is and it depends on where the client is, if they're super like triggered around tracking that I don't have them track, I have them write everything down. Um, because you have to see what your if you want to. If you want to lose weight, you have to be able to see what you're doing. I mean, you can't just be putting food in your mouth aimlessly. It just doesn't work that way. And so we really work on, you know, the numbers, not meaning anything like this is just It's just a measurement. It has nothing to do with you as a person, Um and then I do have them track. And then we kind of worked backwards because you don't want to be tracking, you know, for your whole life. Um, that's just that's not healthy either. But once someone is really comfortable with, you know the numbers and with figuring out how the food fits in and what makes them feel good and what doesn't? Then you know you gradually kind of step away from the daily tracking. But there's always room for what I call you know, intuitive stuff, because there are times when your body is going to need more carbs than others. As women, we go through a monthly cycle, and it's, you know, physiologically we need more carbs during that time. And so you know, we were you just for that. And it's more about when people release the shame behind not hitting a number or not. That's when it just becomes tracking, and it doesn't become they're not wrapped up in it being who they are. Does that make sense

spk_0:   26:52
at all? Rather took a resource rather than yes, yeah,

spk_1:   26:56
it's just a measurement, and it has nothing to do with you as a person. Yes,

spk_0:   27:00
that makes total sense. So what do you What has been the thing that you're most proud of? Um, in your coaching business. Oh,

spk_1:   27:10
man, that's hard. Because I've had so many wonderful, amazing clients that I can't like, say one particular thing. But I did have one thing that just, like, let me up. And it was one of my emotional eating clients, and she sense a picture. This was probably a week. It's a six week program, and we were on probably week four or five. And we've been doing a lot of work on, you know, a different body isn't gonna give you a different life. Um, you know, live life on your terms, Um, etcetera. And she had gone on her honeymoon and she decided that she was just gonna wear a bikini and she didn't care. And she sent us a picture of herself in that bikini, and it was like, Oh, my gosh, I just I cried. I literally cried because at that point, she had just accepted herself or who she was in that moment. Didn't matter that she wasn't where she wanted to be physically. Didn't matter that you know, she didn't feel her best. Um, she just just did it. And that was probably like that was one. That's definitely been one of the highlights. For sure.

spk_0:   28:29
That's awesome. I love that. And I love whenever you're working with clients and they and they get those breakthroughs and you can start to see, even if they don't see it yet you can see the shift. I feel yes. Like super rewarding.

spk_1:   28:41
Yes, 100%.

spk_0:   28:43
Well, cool. So what else do you have coming up in your in your business When either one of the ways people can work with you. Where do they find you? Where you hiding on the interweb

spk_1:   28:53
hiding? I don't hide. I'm right out there and full of you. I'm mostly on Facebook. Um, Desert Jones. DSR I That's me. Um, I dio I'm on instagram as well at DeVry Jones, but I mostly do. I do most of my work on, you know, one facebook and instagram. Um, but coming up, I am So I do have my fitness course that's coming up. Here is a 12 week course that I developed the first round ran. Actually, this is the last week and So my second round is starting the end of August. Um, and then I do have kind of my sleeve a little bit, lots of little things that my sleeve. But, um, I'm really passionate, obviously, on the emotional eating side, but body image. And so I have a body image course that I'm working on releasing said Yes, I'm really excited about that. Um, and I am really excited to help women in particular who are postpartum because there is a huge need for that and just understanding what your body's been through, where it's at that in reality, you know, it took you nine months to grow this human. You're not gonna look like you did in four weeks. Um, and that it's OK, and to embrace it and not to run back to the gym as soon as you get the chance and to really just, you know, work your way back and slowly and so that's coming down the pipeline. I'm really excited about that. I've just become, like this huge advocate for just women accepting themselves for who they are. Really?

spk_0:   30:45
That's kind of the whole outline of your you know, I can remember how exactly how don't say it wrong, but, like, brave to break through a breakthrough to brave Your whole brand really revolves around that, too. Yes, for sure. Yeah. So I will make sure in the show notes you guys can go over to that has a really good community to which is amazing. She puts a lot of great content in there. That what you guys can connect with her in all the ways. Um, is there anything you would like to share with everybody before we?

spk_1:   31:17
Oh, I just You know, I just want people to know that you always have the power every single day to right a different story. I say that a lot in my in my practices, you have the power everyday to write a different story, and your worthiness does not lie in your pant size. Your worthiness comes from the person that you are. And once you realize that accepting its and it sounds so backwards and I know people are just like, this woman's crazy. But when you can finally accept who you are in this very moment, then and Onley, then are you gonna be able to change, make make a permanent and lasting change, and it sounds backwards. But it is the truth. And so that's what I want to leave Everyone with is you know it's not change and then be happy. Let's be happy first, and then you can change.

spk_0:   32:16
So I just love that I love looking at the world that way because I think it's so true. We have so much more power in ourselves than we've ever realized. And I just want to thank you so much for taking the time on the podcast cause you're absolutely amazing. You guys need to go Follower checker out goes to your in all the places it will be in the show notes that he can scroll down steel Um, you definitely want to be having does in your bribes. So thank you so much for taking the time. Uh, yeah, from Thank you so much from sitting today. As always, we would love for you to subscribe so that you don't miss any of the notifications of any of the new episodes that we've ever drop. And always it's your lovin it screenshot and share in all the places. Make sure you tag either simplified success The podcast or me? Your host, Lindsay Reynolds, so that I can give you a shout out. Thank you so much for listening. And you next time.